Tapping to cope with Loss of a Loved One

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique.

This is for dealing with the emotional soup of dealing with the loss of a loved one. Please do each section 3 times before moving on to the next one, so that you are gentle with yourself.

“I want to heal and get over this loss, but I feel guilty. I feel empty, abandoned and alone, and I want to get over this, but I don’t. I want to move on, but I don’t. I want to be happy again, but I don’t. I want to put down this emotional soup and get over this, but I don’t. I want to be able to function in the world, but I don’t. I deeply and completely accept my conflict, I profoundly and unconditionally love myself, accept myself, forgive myself, and anybody else, maybe, for contributing to this.

I miss him, and by missing him I feel like he’s still there with me, I don’t want to forget his face, his voice, his love. I want to hold on to my memories, my pain, my grief, my loss. I feel angry and betrayed, and I can’t understand why he was taken from me. But maybe there’s a different way to remember him. But maybe it’s possible to remember him (at some point) only with love, only with gratitude that we had this time together, that he has given me so much strength. May be at some point I will remember him only with a smile, with warmth. Maybe at some point, remembering him will give me only strength and affirm that life is good.

I now choose to take steps towards embracing my pain, my hurt, my loss. I choose to acknowledge my despair and loneliness. I deeply and completely love myself, accept myself, and I forgive myself, I forgive him, and I forgive anyone else, who contributed to my hurt. Even though I keep looking to others to make me feel better, I feel needy and seek others to lean on, I choose to accept myself.

Even though I feel like a victim, powerless and helpless, feel like I will never get out of this pit of loneliness and despair, nor see any light of peace or happiness. I embrace all my emotions, I honour my emotions, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and my emotions and forgive myself,  I choose to learn to be friends with my emotions, to listen to them, to learn from them and to calm them. Even though I feel very desperate now and I am at a loss for what to do next,  I choose to know that I am the master of my own life, even when it doesn’t feel like it, I am the author of my own destiny, just as I have allowed bad things to happen, I now choose to manifest good things in my life. I choose for love and light to enter and light up my life. I choose to find a reason feel grateful every day, even when it all seems dark and hopeless. … I choose freedom… I choose peace, courage, joy, love, calm, ease, centeredness, stillness, strength.”


Tapping for Grief (Loss, Fear, Helplessness…)

More on dealing with the loss of a loved one. If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique.

I feel so lost and alone, and I am beating myself up for my lack of control. I don’t know how to do “helpless”, I hate when I melt down in front of people at the drop of a hat, I hate that I don’t have any control over my tears, my emotions, it’s not ok for me to be not ok, I have things that need to be done, and people I need to take care of, but I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.

I am at a loss, so many things frazzle me, I feel scared, I can’t cope, I feel overwhelmed, I hate being like this, I don’t know how to do helpless. I feel bad about being sad around my friends. But I forgive myself, and anyone else for contributing to this situation. Even though I was forced to confront my mortality, and the fragility of human life, and I am really shaken, I now choose to find my center again.

Even though I am beating myself up, because it’s not ok to be not ok, that’s ok. I acknowledge that I suffered the biggest loss in my life. My whole world just turned upside down. It’s ok to be not ok. Even though I really want to get over this, and move on, a part of me doesn’t. A part of me thinks that holding on to my grief and suffering, I am holding on to him. A part of me is beating the other part up for wanting to be able to cope. I acknowledge that I may have some conflicted feelings about this. And I deeply and completely love and accept myself, my complex acknowledged and unacknowledged feelings, I forgive myself, and anyone else who may or may not have contributed to this situation.

Even though I still feel anxious, frightened, brokenhearted, bereaved, dread, off-balanced…. I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself, and anyone else who contributed to this situation. I now choose to be calm and confident. I now choose to be still and peaceful. I now choose stability, strength,. I now choose to be grounded, centered. I now choose to nurture myself and honour my emotions, and allow myself this time to grief, to reminisce, and then to heal.

EFT: Eliminating Pain and Anxiety about Pain and Anxiety

“Even though i have this pain, i deeply and completely love & accept myself. I profoundly and unconditionally love and accept my body, and i thank my body for holding my pain. I thank my pain for keeping me sane and whole. But I now choose to acknowledge my pain & my emotions, I embrace my pain & my emotions even though they are hard for me.

I may have made some poor choices in the past about how to handle my  pain and define who I am but those were the best choices i could have made at that time and I choose to honour that. I now choose to make some different choices so that my outcomes can be different.

I now choose to know that I have the sole responsibility and accountability for my life. I now choose to take sovereignty over my life and my body.

I choose freedom, confidence, wisdom, humility, compassion. I choose to be strong, I choose to be powerful, I choose to be loved and love.

Even though I have some pain, but I have the fear that this pain is going to increase……

Now there is no pain, now I have the anxiety, the fear that the pain might return, that the pain will come back with a vengeance i deeply & completely……..

Now there is no pain, and no anxiety, now I’m anxious about not having pain and anxiety, it’s not safe, I’m scared they will come back with a vengeance. I deeply ….. .

I now choose to be calm and confident. I now choose to be happy and pain free….”

Reframing Anger and Hate

Hate, anger, ill-will, vindictiveness in all their guises are energies that eat us up and lower our vibrations. For the most part, these emotions do not serve us. But it’s pointless to tell some one, “don’t be angry, let it go”. The question is how. This is where tapping comes in. As usual score first for the intensity of your emotions, tap and reassess. Tap until emotions are 0 or near 0. Hate is hard to let go of, so expect that you’ll have lots of resistance. You’ll have to use the reframing technique. If you simply can’t get emotions down to 0, say it stops at 0.5, do the 9 gamut technique.

“I hate him. I wish him ill. I want to see him suffer, I want to see him dead… (state what you feel)…. I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway, and I forgive myself.

Even though a part of me wants him out of my system, the rest of me does not want to let go. He deserves my hate, my anger, my ill-will. He deserves many things, but he sure as hell does not deserve forgiveness. (acknowledge your resistance)

But holding on to this energy is hurting only me. The negativity is being stored in my body-mind. It’s not hurting him or affecting him negatively in any way. In a way may be my negativity is helping him reach his goals of tormenting me. May be it’s time to consider a different strategy (suggest an alternative).

May be it is not about what he deserves or doesn’t deserve. May be it’s about me having freedom and release from this. While I am not ready to forgive him, I’m ready to have my freedom, sovereignty and power back. I want to be released from this situation (hell). I want and I deserve freedom from this.

Forgiveness here is not about condoning the past. It’s about choosing not to allow the past to dictate my future. It’s about my own future, and the future of my loved ones (reframing). I now choose to release all negative energies, all negative emotions I have around this situation, so that we can have the life we deserve and that we desire. To live happily and healthily in the world, without recourse to him is our best revenge. I choose to release him from my energy system. I choose freedom from this situation. I choose peace. I choose to be at ease and comfortable in my own skin.”

Stage Fright

Anna is a musician with stage fright. Even thinking about being on stage gave her palpitations and made her hands ache. The triggers for this phobia were critical parent and unkind teacher characters who made her feel small. Her grandfather was her biggest fan, her first music teacher and the love in her life when she was growing up. This is the homework that helped her through some major performances.

“Even though I feel like I’m standing here on stage feeling all alone, all exposed with a feeling of doom, I choose to feel strong, I choose to feel safe. I choose to feel calm and confident. I choose to experience my grandfather’s (the love in your life) love, encouragement and support. Even though my hands are starting to hurt, my veins are popping up, I choose to acknowledge my grandfather in my veins, my grandfather in my heart, my grandfather in my hands, in my music…. I choose to play for me and my grandfather. Everybody else here is just incidental.

I am standing on stage feeling powerful, full of music and magic, and the music just smoothly flows out of my heart, fills my hands, fills my instrument, fills the audience, I allow the music to vibrate in every cell of my body, the space between my cells, the space outside of my body, to fill the space in the concert hall. I choose to allow this music to flow beautifully, effortless into the world. I fill the entire universe with this music. Exhilarating…. Awesome…. Powerful…. Centered.”