True Forgiveness is Freedom

Healing Tears

This was written for a client who needed help in achieving a true and lasting forgiveness  (as oppose to temporary suppression with the distinct certainty of lashing out on reflex). This can be used generally for when you find it hard to forgive and let go, and you care enough to want to.

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique. Please also include the karate chop point or the psychological reversal point as part of your routine. You may also want to repeat each paragraph once or twice  until you feel the intensity subside before moving on to the next one. Take it slow and let it work. Some of this is meant to be provocative, some of it is meant to inject humour in a tense situation. It may not work for everyone, please amend according to your own needs and nature. Good luck.

“I have so many conflicted thoughts about this issue. I don’t understand how  he/she could do this to me…… Parts of me want to forgive and move on, other parts of me want to bash his brains in and gorge his eyes out, may be swipe him with a tiger’s claw (well, you get the picture, use your own words)….. I acknowledge the hurt, anger, betrayal, hate, helplessness, bereavement, insecurity, alienation (add emotions that you feel) inside, there isn’t anyone I could tell this to, I am all alone. I embrace all the parts of me who are hurting, fearful and angry. I acknowledge that you all have a right to be here, and that the emotions you feel are valid. I embrace you, and thank you for carrying all my pain.

Parts of me feel justified in holding on to my anger, because my anger protects me, because I am entitled to my anger, because he deserves my anger. My anger gives me a high, letting go of my anger may mean that I only feel grief and fear, I don’t want to let my anger go. I am may be even enjoying my anger. I enjoy holding this over his/her head. I like the idea that I can swipe at him/her and take revenge whenever he/she least expects me. I have a right to swipe, and I like that. I thank my anger for wanting to protect me.

I acknowledge that there are all these conflicted emotions and thoughts within me, and it’s ok to be not ok. But there are other parts of me who want to be ready to move on, and leave the past in the past, parts of me who want to experience real forgiveness, so that the past does not taint my future, so that I can live anger-free / fear-free / grief-free / pain-free from this event, may be sometime today, may be sometime tomorrow. I ask my subconscious mind to find a few other ways for me to express my positive intention behind my anger/fear/grief/pain, so that I can be free of my anger/fear/grief/pain, and so that I can forgive and have true freedom to live my life without reference to this event/person.

I was hurt, but i now choose to heal my wounded children within, I now choose to be at the highest expression of who I am. I choose to be calm, confident, free and strong. I choose to be happy. I choose to be still. I choose peace.

I choose to truely forgive and release, because I choose freedom from this. True forgiveness is freedom.”

EFT for the Care Giver

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique.

When a loved one is ill, and you fear for their life, tap for calm so that you can transcend your fear. This is phrased to be slightly “provocative” and may not be for everyone. It acknowledges that sometimes we fear more for our loss, than the pain that our loved one is going through. Please feel free to amend according to your emotional needs.

“Even though it’s much easier to succumb to my habitual vortex of fear and dread, and I’m in a frenzy about loosing my mother, and beating myself up over being a bad daughter, I now choose to see that this is really a waste of energy. Even though I’d much rather indulge in my fear and drama, about the pain of seeing my mother suffer, than being of some use in this situation, I now choose to embrace my emotions, I deeply and completely love and accept where I am, I forgive myself, and anyone for contributing to this situation.

I now choose to embrace all that I feel and fear, and transmute them into loving kindness, into courage, into strength, into intelligence, so that I can be fully present to support my mom through her life’s journey. I now choose to gather all my wisdom and my life force, to generate in my heart positive intentions to support my mom through her hard times.

Even though I am still worried, because I am still human and I am a daughter who loves and needs her mother, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself. I choose to do the best I can, with the tools that I have at this time. I now choose to invoke a state of trust, of space, of solidity, stability, firmness, of ease to support myself and my mom.

Breathing in: Calm
Breathing out: Peace

Breathing in: Space
Breathing out: Ease
Breathing in: Smile ( I mean you smile)
Breathing out: Release”

Tapping to cope with Loss of a Loved One

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique.

This is for dealing with the emotional soup of dealing with the loss of a loved one. Please do each section 3 times before moving on to the next one, so that you are gentle with yourself.

“I want to heal and get over this loss, but I feel guilty. I feel empty, abandoned and alone, and I want to get over this, but I don’t. I want to move on, but I don’t. I want to be happy again, but I don’t. I want to put down this emotional soup and get over this, but I don’t. I want to be able to function in the world, but I don’t. I deeply and completely accept my conflict, I profoundly and unconditionally love myself, accept myself, forgive myself, and anybody else, maybe, for contributing to this.

I miss him, and by missing him I feel like he’s still there with me, I don’t want to forget his face, his voice, his love. I want to hold on to my memories, my pain, my grief, my loss. I feel angry and betrayed, and I can’t understand why he was taken from me. But maybe there’s a different way to remember him. But maybe it’s possible to remember him (at some point) only with love, only with gratitude that we had this time together, that he has given me so much strength. May be at some point I will remember him only with a smile, with warmth. Maybe at some point, remembering him will give me only strength and affirm that life is good.

I now choose to take steps towards embracing my pain, my hurt, my loss. I choose to acknowledge my despair and loneliness. I deeply and completely love myself, accept myself, and I forgive myself, I forgive him, and I forgive anyone else, who contributed to my hurt. Even though I keep looking to others to make me feel better, I feel needy and seek others to lean on, I choose to accept myself.

Even though I feel like a victim, powerless and helpless, feel like I will never get out of this pit of loneliness and despair, nor see any light of peace or happiness. I embrace all my emotions, I honour my emotions, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and my emotions and forgive myself,  I choose to learn to be friends with my emotions, to listen to them, to learn from them and to calm them. Even though I feel very desperate now and I am at a loss for what to do next,  I choose to know that I am the master of my own life, even when it doesn’t feel like it, I am the author of my own destiny, just as I have allowed bad things to happen, I now choose to manifest good things in my life. I choose for love and light to enter and light up my life. I choose to find a reason feel grateful every day, even when it all seems dark and hopeless. … I choose freedom… I choose peace, courage, joy, love, calm, ease, centeredness, stillness, strength.”


Tapping for Grief (Loss, Fear, Helplessness…)

More on dealing with the loss of a loved one. If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique.

I feel so lost and alone, and I am beating myself up for my lack of control. I don’t know how to do “helpless”, I hate when I melt down in front of people at the drop of a hat, I hate that I don’t have any control over my tears, my emotions, it’s not ok for me to be not ok, I have things that need to be done, and people I need to take care of, but I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.

I am at a loss, so many things frazzle me, I feel scared, I can’t cope, I feel overwhelmed, I hate being like this, I don’t know how to do helpless. I feel bad about being sad around my friends. But I forgive myself, and anyone else for contributing to this situation. Even though I was forced to confront my mortality, and the fragility of human life, and I am really shaken, I now choose to find my center again.

Even though I am beating myself up, because it’s not ok to be not ok, that’s ok. I acknowledge that I suffered the biggest loss in my life. My whole world just turned upside down. It’s ok to be not ok. Even though I really want to get over this, and move on, a part of me doesn’t. A part of me thinks that holding on to my grief and suffering, I am holding on to him. A part of me is beating the other part up for wanting to be able to cope. I acknowledge that I may have some conflicted feelings about this. And I deeply and completely love and accept myself, my complex acknowledged and unacknowledged feelings, I forgive myself, and anyone else who may or may not have contributed to this situation.

Even though I still feel anxious, frightened, brokenhearted, bereaved, dread, off-balanced…. I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself, and anyone else who contributed to this situation. I now choose to be calm and confident. I now choose to be still and peaceful. I now choose stability, strength,. I now choose to be grounded, centered. I now choose to nurture myself and honour my emotions, and allow myself this time to grief, to reminisce, and then to heal.

Spiritual Tapping: Enneagram Type One

Sacredness Within

This sequence is for Enneagram Type Ones who want to do deeper work on overcoming their personality issues. Please tap daily for about 7 days, either morning or evening, making sure that in each day, you find some quiet time for yourself to do this. Leave it alone for 7 days, then look at these statements again. You may have some new insights or memories relevant to the development of your Enneagram Type. You can tap on these or ask me if you need help.

If you are new to the Enneagram, EFT and tapping, please first refer to these sections:

EFT Basics

Tapping for Enneagram Types

——————————————

1. Please start the tapping with the point under your left shoulder (Reset Button), do 3 rounds of the following statements.:
“I have a basic fear of of being condemned, corrupt, bad, imbalanced, unredeemable, chaotic, defective, I hate mistakes.
I have a basic desire to align with the “Good”, “Sacred”, to be virtuous, balanced, to have integrity.
I am so afraid that my subjective feelings and impulses will  lead me astray, impair my reason, tarnish my integrity.
I need to be right, to strive higher, to improve others, to be consistent with my ideals, to be beyond reproach, to be perfect, to be beyond the criticism and condemnation of others.
But in my heart of hearts, I know that my essential nature is Goodness, Sacredness.
This is just my ego experiencing itself in my personality. BUT I am more than my ego, I am more than my personality, I am more than my emotions, I am more than my thoughts. I am life beyond boundaries. I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself, and anyone else who contributed to this situation.”

2. Now just do normal tapping, also 3 rounds:

These are the statements that reflect the emotions, and you can change or add as you feel. Just don’t do too many at one time or you might feel overwhelmed:

“I feel guilty all the time. I feel like nurturing myself is wrong. I feel guilty about taking time out for myself. Cooking healthy food for myself is a waste of time. Enjoying myself in anyway is wrong. And I resent those who can do it.
Not having a job, and living off someone else’s money is wrong, I feel guilty, I am a bad person
I feel ashamed, not good enough, I need to be perfect – I’m my own worst critic
I feel the fear of death, I have a death wish, I am ashamed of myself.
I feel bitter, grim, parched, resentful
I am tired of feeling this way. I am struggling with a cocktail of emotions that is not really helping me. I am reacting all the time with attachment and aversion, I’m tired of all this. I have no control. The problem is NOT what is happening to me, it’s what I’m THINKING about what’s happening to me, and what I am FEELING about what is happening to me.”

“I now choose to focus on the solution rather than the problem, and to change from being JUDGEMENTAL and OBSESSIVE, to experience my essential quality: the quiet SERENITY within. What would I be without that thought that I was bad, wrong, condemnable? What if I was free to feel good about who I am and where I am now?

I now choose to know that working on myself, and ensuring that I am the best that I can be means that I can be FULLY here. I’ve been running on an empty tank for a long time. Now it’s time to put petrol in the car, so that I can be FULLY PRESENT to my life, available for my family. I appreciate myself for getting the help I need, and doing the work so that I can be at the highest expression of who I am.”

3. Now do 3 rounds of this affirmations to get in touch with your true nature:

“I now choose to release the conviction that I am in a position to judge anything or anyone objectively, including myself.
I choose to be in touch with
my discerning mind, my inner wisdom
my generosity of spirit
my mindfulness, groundedness
I choose to be in touch with GOODNESS, SACREDNESS (outside and inside of myself),
I choose to appreciate myself for being in touch with the goodness of life. I respect myself for the journey that I am going through, and know that I am never separate from the PERFECTION of life
I choose to know that I am noble and pure, wise and kind, life-affirming and all-embracing
I choose to experience the STILLNESS, CALM and SERENITY within.”

Adapted from the work of Don Riso and Russ Hudson of the Enneagram Institute