EFT For Lovelessness

I feel like a victim, like I have no control of my life. It’s hard to feel that way, and I would like to change, but I feel deeply conflicted and helpless.

I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself and anyone else who may have contributed to this.

I feel all these emotions: despair, unloved, unsupported, miserable, longing, unappreciated, defeated, longing to be loved, feeling like an outsider. It’s may be natural that I feel this way based on my upbringing and my past baggage, may be I even have a right to feel that way, but it doesn’t really help me. And I don’t want to keep referencing the past because I dont’ want my past to dictate my future.

May be I dont know what is love, love is a concept that I see on tv and in other people’s lives. I am longing for love, but I don’t believe in love, there is no love for me. I am a victim. I am angry with _____ for not loving me, I have a right to feel like that. I need to be loved the way I need to be loved.

But thinking this way only keeps me in suffering. May be I need to choose a different way of being so that I can be happy, and so that my children can have a happier childhood than me. While it is easier to be unhappy and blame other people for my pain, I now choose to be courageous.

I choose to take charge of my emotions and my life, even though I still feel like a victim, I am willing to try. I now choose SERENITY, PEACE OF MIND, WISDOM, AUTHENTICITY, AWAKENING, EQUANIMITY, COURAGE, JOY, GRATITUDE, WONDERMENT, STRENGTH, HARMONY, ABUNDANCE, CONTENTMENT. I now choose THE HIGHEST TRUTH, THE GREATEST LOVE and THE DEEPEST JOY.

May be I have chosen to experience lovelessness, may be now I can choose to experience the opposite of that. I choose to see that the universe supports me, the sun, the sky, the earth, the food that I eat …… the look in my son’s eyes when he laughs and cries…. I am not alone in the world.

I now choose to know that I am a divine child of the universe, I am made of love, I am made of nothing but love. The energy of love gives life and energizes everything. I now choose to be in touch with the DEEPEST TRUTH within me. Underneath the personality, the negative thoughts, the painful emotions is the ESSENCE of who I am. I am a river of consciousness flowing into the the sea of all existence. The experiences I have are the experiences that I choose to have. Because I have choices, I can now choose to have a different experience of life. I now choose SERENITY, PEACE OF MIND, WISDOM, AUTHENTICITY, AWAKENING, EQUANIMITY, COURAGE, JOY, GRATITUDE, WONDERMENT, STRENGTH, HARMONY, ABUNDANCE, CONTENTMENT. I now choose THE HIGHEST TRUTH, THE GREATEST LOVE and THE DEEPEST JOY. All is well in my world.

EFT Tapping for Feeling Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed

Written for a client who did not feel like he had the right to feel so bad.  Generally someone who feels like this would need some help. This is NOT for EFT beginners. And this is NOT for people with self-destructive tendencies. Please use with caution.

“I find it hard to explain it to people, and to myself. The world overwhelms me. I want to run away. I want to die. I am terrified of living, yet I am terrified of dying. I am in a state of depression, feeling like pond scum lying at the bottom of the pond. I am nothing. I am conquered, defeated, vanquished. Shame. Humiliation. Degradation. Debasement. Defilement. And I don’t even know why I should feel this way. My life isn’t bad.

I wish I could get off this merry go round, but I feel powerless, trapped.

I wish I could lie down and die, or crawl into a hole and die. I want out of this life.

It’s too much. I feel overwhelmed. I can’t face another day.

Even though there are parts of me who feel overwhelmed and wish to bail out, there are other parts of me who are observing this. Those observer parts of me are not overwhelmed, and are willing to help the rest of me understand and enjoy peace and serenity. There might be reasons that I may or may not understand for this feeling of overwhelm. I may or may not be in touch with those parts of me who are feeling overwhelmed, but I deeply and completely love and accept myself. I forgive myself, and anyone else who might have contributed to this situation. There might be causes and conditions for the way that I feel, which may or may not be justified. This is just the way I feel right now. Feelings arise and disappear, I just accept and observe what is there right now.

I embrace all the wouldned childre inside who feel this overwhelm. I see you, I’m sorry I left you there all alone, and holding this “overwhelm”. Please come home, I love you. I’ll take care of you, cherish and protect you. I welcome you back to my family of selves.”

EFT for letting go of the ‘I am a victim’ paradigm

Ten of Swords: bottoming out, victim mentality, martydom

Sometimes we just find it very hard to heal. We go around in circles, and find it hard to break free. We’ve had years of illness, bad luck, and maybe a victim mentality. The same reality repeats, again and again and again.

In this particular case, K had major triggering event in childhood she named ‘total devastation’. These statements were crafted to allow her to see that she somehow perpetuated this reality, stretched the moment and clung to it. She chose it, and therefore have the power to choose to change it. It’s about letting go of the idea of ‘I’ being the victim, ‘I’ being alone and in need while everyone else is having a good time. It was designed to be slightly provocative ,to engage the ego and dig out emotions which may be hidden. Also it’s meant to suggest to the user to let the ‘victim’ go, but in the event that he or she isn’t quite ready yet, it doesn’t push the envelope. Caution: This can only be used with skill and compassion, and isn’t meant for everyone. Please use with care.

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique.

1. Repeat 3 times: “I need to hang on to this ‘total devastation’. So that I can blame someone else. So that I can hold the world responsible for my misery. So I don’t have to take responsibility for myself. The world owes me, so-and-so owes me, they are responsible for my suffering, my pain.

2. just once: I’ll show them, I’ll make them sorry for hurting me, I’m going to be really, really sick, and then they’ll be sorry. They’ll be sorry for me, and give me attention, and love me. Poor me, look at me, negative attention is better than no attention. I need this ‘total devastation’ to protect me, from having to take responsibility, because I know I’m not good enough. I can’t take care of myself. I’m only a child inside, I can’t cope. I need you to take care of me. I need to be nurtured. I need to be loved. I need. I want. Nobody wants me. There’s only me in my world. I’m all alone in my world of me. I need to make people notice me.

3. Repeat 2 times: Even though I still need this piece of juicy melodrama, I’m now ready to think about letting it go. The more I think of ‘me’, ‘poor me’, ‘woe is me’, the more I box ‘myself’ into my lonely world of one. If only I can find another way of being, I just might be ready to let go. If only I can choose to be calm and confident; to include other people in my world, I might start to think about letting my melodrama go. If only it’s possible to let go of this siege mentality and enjoy being humble, selfless, and free. If only I knew what it feels like to be loving without expectations, to be open and giving, I might be willing to let the ‘victim’ go. If I was strong enough to have compassion and wisdom, and think more of others than of me, I will let the ‘victim’ rest, I will let my ‘I’ rest. I might be able to find the courage to let go of the river bank and flow into the river of life. But for now, I’m ok being who I am, and where I am. I have free choice.”

True Forgiveness is Freedom

Healing Tears

This was written for a client who needed help in achieving a true and lasting forgiveness  (as oppose to temporary suppression with the distinct certainty of lashing out on reflex). This can be used generally for when you find it hard to forgive and let go, and you care enough to want to.

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique. Please also include the karate chop point or the psychological reversal point as part of your routine. You may also want to repeat each paragraph once or twice  until you feel the intensity subside before moving on to the next one. Take it slow and let it work. Some of this is meant to be provocative, some of it is meant to inject humour in a tense situation. It may not work for everyone, please amend according to your own needs and nature. Good luck.

“I have so many conflicted thoughts about this issue. I don’t understand how  he/she could do this to me…… Parts of me want to forgive and move on, other parts of me want to bash his brains in and gorge his eyes out, may be swipe him with a tiger’s claw (well, you get the picture, use your own words)….. I acknowledge the hurt, anger, betrayal, hate, helplessness, bereavement, insecurity, alienation (add emotions that you feel) inside, there isn’t anyone I could tell this to, I am all alone. I embrace all the parts of me who are hurting, fearful and angry. I acknowledge that you all have a right to be here, and that the emotions you feel are valid. I embrace you, and thank you for carrying all my pain.

Parts of me feel justified in holding on to my anger, because my anger protects me, because I am entitled to my anger, because he deserves my anger. My anger gives me a high, letting go of my anger may mean that I only feel grief and fear, I don’t want to let my anger go. I am may be even enjoying my anger. I enjoy holding this over his/her head. I like the idea that I can swipe at him/her and take revenge whenever he/she least expects me. I have a right to swipe, and I like that. I thank my anger for wanting to protect me.

I acknowledge that there are all these conflicted emotions and thoughts within me, and it’s ok to be not ok. But there are other parts of me who want to be ready to move on, and leave the past in the past, parts of me who want to experience real forgiveness, so that the past does not taint my future, so that I can live anger-free / fear-free / grief-free / pain-free from this event, may be sometime today, may be sometime tomorrow. I ask my subconscious mind to find a few other ways for me to express my positive intention behind my anger/fear/grief/pain, so that I can be free of my anger/fear/grief/pain, and so that I can forgive and have true freedom to live my life without reference to this event/person.

I was hurt, but i now choose to heal my wounded children within, I now choose to be at the highest expression of who I am. I choose to be calm, confident, free and strong. I choose to be happy. I choose to be still. I choose peace.

I choose to truely forgive and release, because I choose freedom from this. True forgiveness is freedom.”

EFT for the Care Giver

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique.

When a loved one is ill, and you fear for their life, tap for calm so that you can transcend your fear. This is phrased to be slightly “provocative” and may not be for everyone. It acknowledges that sometimes we fear more for our loss, than the pain that our loved one is going through. Please feel free to amend according to your emotional needs.

“Even though it’s much easier to succumb to my habitual vortex of fear and dread, and I’m in a frenzy about loosing my mother, and beating myself up over being a bad daughter, I now choose to see that this is really a waste of energy. Even though I’d much rather indulge in my fear and drama, about the pain of seeing my mother suffer, than being of some use in this situation, I now choose to embrace my emotions, I deeply and completely love and accept where I am, I forgive myself, and anyone for contributing to this situation.

I now choose to embrace all that I feel and fear, and transmute them into loving kindness, into courage, into strength, into intelligence, so that I can be fully present to support my mom through her life’s journey. I now choose to gather all my wisdom and my life force, to generate in my heart positive intentions to support my mom through her hard times.

Even though I am still worried, because I am still human and I am a daughter who loves and needs her mother, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself. I choose to do the best I can, with the tools that I have at this time. I now choose to invoke a state of trust, of space, of solidity, stability, firmness, of ease to support myself and my mom.

Breathing in: Calm
Breathing out: Peace

Breathing in: Space
Breathing out: Ease
Breathing in: Smile ( I mean you smile)
Breathing out: Release”