EFT for letting go of the ‘I am a victim’ paradigm

Ten of Swords: bottoming out, victim mentality, martydom

Sometimes we just find it very hard to heal. We go around in circles, and find it hard to break free. We’ve had years of illness, bad luck, and maybe a victim mentality. The same reality repeats, again and again and again.

In this particular case, K had major triggering event in childhood she named ‘total devastation’. These statements were crafted to allow her to see that she somehow perpetuated this reality, stretched the moment and clung to it. She chose it, and therefore have the power to choose to change it. It’s about letting go of the idea of ‘I’ being the victim, ‘I’ being alone and in need while everyone else is having a good time. It was designed to be slightly provocative ,to engage the ego and dig out emotions which may be hidden. Also it’s meant to suggest to the user to let the ‘victim’ go, but in the event that he or she isn’t quite ready yet, it doesn’t push the envelope. Caution: This can only be used with skill and compassion, and isn’t meant for everyone. Please use with care.

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique.

1. Repeat 3 times: “I need to hang on to this ‘total devastation’. So that I can blame someone else. So that I can hold the world responsible for my misery. So I don’t have to take responsibility for myself. The world owes me, so-and-so owes me, they are responsible for my suffering, my pain.

2. just once: I’ll show them, I’ll make them sorry for hurting me, I’m going to be really, really sick, and then they’ll be sorry. They’ll be sorry for me, and give me attention, and love me. Poor me, look at me, negative attention is better than no attention. I need this ‘total devastation’ to protect me, from having to take responsibility, because I know I’m not good enough. I can’t take care of myself. I’m only a child inside, I can’t cope. I need you to take care of me. I need to be nurtured. I need to be loved. I need. I want. Nobody wants me. There’s only me in my world. I’m all alone in my world of me. I need to make people notice me.

3. Repeat 2 times: Even though I still need this piece of juicy melodrama, I’m now ready to think about letting it go. The more I think of ‘me’, ‘poor me’, ‘woe is me’, the more I box ‘myself’ into my lonely world of one. If only I can find another way of being, I just might be ready to let go. If only I can choose to be calm and confident; to include other people in my world, I might start to think about letting my melodrama go. If only it’s possible to let go of this siege mentality and enjoy being humble, selfless, and free. If only I knew what it feels like to be loving without expectations, to be open and giving, I might be willing to let the ‘victim’ go. If I was strong enough to have compassion and wisdom, and think more of others than of me, I will let the ‘victim’ rest, I will let my ‘I’ rest. I might be able to find the courage to let go of the river bank and flow into the river of life. But for now, I’m ok being who I am, and where I am. I have free choice.”

Feeling like a bad mom, Enneagram Type Six

These are statements I crafted based on a client who was feeling like a bad mom, for taking the time out to work on her own emotional well-being, and in the framework of the Enneagram Type 6. And you can adjust, add or subtract anything you like for your personal use.

Please tap daily, either morning or evening, making sure that in each day, you find some quiet time for yourself to do this.

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1. Please start the tapping with the point under your left shoulder (Reset Button), do 3 rounds of the following statements.:
“I have a basic fear of of being lost, without orientation, without support and guidance.
I have a basic desire to find a trustworthy orientation so that I can be secure and supported
But in my heart of hearts, I know that my essential nature is Awakeness, Inner-Wisdom, Inner-Guidance
This is just my ego experiencing itself in my personality. BUT I am more than my ego, I am more than my personality, I am more than my emotions, I am more than my thoughts. I am life beyond boundaries. I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself, and anyone else who contributed to this situation.”

2. Now just do normal tapping, also 3 rounds:

These are the statements that reflect the emotions, and you can change or add as you feel. Just don’t do too many at one time or you might feel overwhelmed:

“I feel guilty all the time. I feel like a bad mother, I’m not really here for the kids.I feel guilty about taking time out for myself.
I feel ashamed, not good enough, I need to be perfect – I’m my own worst critic
I feel abandoned, unsupported, unprotected, overwhelmed
I feel trapped and I want to run away but I can’t
I am tired of feeling this way. I am struggling with a cocktail of emotions that is not really helping me. I am reacting all the time with attachment and aversion, I’m tired of all this. I have no control. The problem is NOT what is happening to me, it’s what I’m THINKING about what’s happening to me, and what I am FEELING about what is happening to me.”

“I now choose to focus on the solution rather than the problem, and to change from the forced wakefulness of my ANXIETY to the relaxed INNER-GUIDANCE within. I now choose to know that working on myself, and ensuring that I am the best that I can be means that I can be there for my kids. I’ve been running on an empty tank for a long time. Now it’s time to put petrol in the car, so that I can be FULLY PRESENT to my life, available for my family, they are my guidance and support, just as I am their guidance and support. I appreciate myself for getting the help I need, and doing the work so that I can be better.”

3. Now do 3 rounds of this affirmations to get in touch with your true nature:

“I choose to trust in my steadfastness, my foresight
I choose to be in touch with
my quiet mind
my inner guidance
my mindfulness, groundedness
I choose to appreciate myself for being courageous and daring to face my issue. I respect myself for the journey that I am going through
I choose to express my inner sovereignty, my strength and fortitude
I choose to experience the STILLNESS, CALM and COURAGE within.”