Resources for Dealing with Grief and Loss

 

Other Articles: Helping Friends Through Grief, Tapping to Cope with the  Loss of a loved one , Tappin for Grief

Useful Websites:

And if you find that you or someone you love needs someone to talk to, please call us. We have a number of practitioners who may be able to help.

EFT Tapping for Feeling Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed

Written for a client who did not feel like he had the right to feel so bad.  Generally someone who feels like this would need some help. This is NOT for EFT beginners. And this is NOT for people with self-destructive tendencies. Please use with caution.

“I find it hard to explain it to people, and to myself. The world overwhelms me. I want to run away. I want to die. I am terrified of living, yet I am terrified of dying. I am in a state of depression, feeling like pond scum lying at the bottom of the pond. I am nothing. I am conquered, defeated, vanquished. Shame. Humiliation. Degradation. Debasement. Defilement. And I don’t even know why I should feel this way. My life isn’t bad.

I wish I could get off this merry go round, but I feel powerless, trapped.

I wish I could lie down and die, or crawl into a hole and die. I want out of this life.

It’s too much. I feel overwhelmed. I can’t face another day.

Even though there are parts of me who feel overwhelmed and wish to bail out, there are other parts of me who are observing this. Those observer parts of me are not overwhelmed, and are willing to help the rest of me understand and enjoy peace and serenity. There might be reasons that I may or may not understand for this feeling of overwhelm. I may or may not be in touch with those parts of me who are feeling overwhelmed, but I deeply and completely love and accept myself. I forgive myself, and anyone else who might have contributed to this situation. There might be causes and conditions for the way that I feel, which may or may not be justified. This is just the way I feel right now. Feelings arise and disappear, I just accept and observe what is there right now.

I embrace all the wouldned childre inside who feel this overwhelm. I see you, I’m sorry I left you there all alone, and holding this “overwhelm”. Please come home, I love you. I’ll take care of you, cherish and protect you. I welcome you back to my family of selves.”

True Forgiveness is Freedom

Healing Tears

This was written for a client who needed help in achieving a true and lasting forgiveness  (as oppose to temporary suppression with the distinct certainty of lashing out on reflex). This can be used generally for when you find it hard to forgive and let go, and you care enough to want to.

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique. Please also include the karate chop point or the psychological reversal point as part of your routine. You may also want to repeat each paragraph once or twice  until you feel the intensity subside before moving on to the next one. Take it slow and let it work. Some of this is meant to be provocative, some of it is meant to inject humour in a tense situation. It may not work for everyone, please amend according to your own needs and nature. Good luck.

“I have so many conflicted thoughts about this issue. I don’t understand how  he/she could do this to me…… Parts of me want to forgive and move on, other parts of me want to bash his brains in and gorge his eyes out, may be swipe him with a tiger’s claw (well, you get the picture, use your own words)….. I acknowledge the hurt, anger, betrayal, hate, helplessness, bereavement, insecurity, alienation (add emotions that you feel) inside, there isn’t anyone I could tell this to, I am all alone. I embrace all the parts of me who are hurting, fearful and angry. I acknowledge that you all have a right to be here, and that the emotions you feel are valid. I embrace you, and thank you for carrying all my pain.

Parts of me feel justified in holding on to my anger, because my anger protects me, because I am entitled to my anger, because he deserves my anger. My anger gives me a high, letting go of my anger may mean that I only feel grief and fear, I don’t want to let my anger go. I am may be even enjoying my anger. I enjoy holding this over his/her head. I like the idea that I can swipe at him/her and take revenge whenever he/she least expects me. I have a right to swipe, and I like that. I thank my anger for wanting to protect me.

I acknowledge that there are all these conflicted emotions and thoughts within me, and it’s ok to be not ok. But there are other parts of me who want to be ready to move on, and leave the past in the past, parts of me who want to experience real forgiveness, so that the past does not taint my future, so that I can live anger-free / fear-free / grief-free / pain-free from this event, may be sometime today, may be sometime tomorrow. I ask my subconscious mind to find a few other ways for me to express my positive intention behind my anger/fear/grief/pain, so that I can be free of my anger/fear/grief/pain, and so that I can forgive and have true freedom to live my life without reference to this event/person.

I was hurt, but i now choose to heal my wounded children within, I now choose to be at the highest expression of who I am. I choose to be calm, confident, free and strong. I choose to be happy. I choose to be still. I choose peace.

I choose to truely forgive and release, because I choose freedom from this. True forgiveness is freedom.”

EFT for the Care Giver

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique.

When a loved one is ill, and you fear for their life, tap for calm so that you can transcend your fear. This is phrased to be slightly “provocative” and may not be for everyone. It acknowledges that sometimes we fear more for our loss, than the pain that our loved one is going through. Please feel free to amend according to your emotional needs.

“Even though it’s much easier to succumb to my habitual vortex of fear and dread, and I’m in a frenzy about loosing my mother, and beating myself up over being a bad daughter, I now choose to see that this is really a waste of energy. Even though I’d much rather indulge in my fear and drama, about the pain of seeing my mother suffer, than being of some use in this situation, I now choose to embrace my emotions, I deeply and completely love and accept where I am, I forgive myself, and anyone for contributing to this situation.

I now choose to embrace all that I feel and fear, and transmute them into loving kindness, into courage, into strength, into intelligence, so that I can be fully present to support my mom through her life’s journey. I now choose to gather all my wisdom and my life force, to generate in my heart positive intentions to support my mom through her hard times.

Even though I am still worried, because I am still human and I am a daughter who loves and needs her mother, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself. I choose to do the best I can, with the tools that I have at this time. I now choose to invoke a state of trust, of space, of solidity, stability, firmness, of ease to support myself and my mom.

Breathing in: Calm
Breathing out: Peace

Breathing in: Space
Breathing out: Ease
Breathing in: Smile ( I mean you smile)
Breathing out: Release”

Tapping to cope with Loss of a Loved One

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique.

This is for dealing with the emotional soup of dealing with the loss of a loved one. Please do each section 3 times before moving on to the next one, so that you are gentle with yourself.

“I want to heal and get over this loss, but I feel guilty. I feel empty, abandoned and alone, and I want to get over this, but I don’t. I want to move on, but I don’t. I want to be happy again, but I don’t. I want to put down this emotional soup and get over this, but I don’t. I want to be able to function in the world, but I don’t. I deeply and completely accept my conflict, I profoundly and unconditionally love myself, accept myself, forgive myself, and anybody else, maybe, for contributing to this.

I miss him, and by missing him I feel like he’s still there with me, I don’t want to forget his face, his voice, his love. I want to hold on to my memories, my pain, my grief, my loss. I feel angry and betrayed, and I can’t understand why he was taken from me. But maybe there’s a different way to remember him. But maybe it’s possible to remember him (at some point) only with love, only with gratitude that we had this time together, that he has given me so much strength. May be at some point I will remember him only with a smile, with warmth. Maybe at some point, remembering him will give me only strength and affirm that life is good.

I now choose to take steps towards embracing my pain, my hurt, my loss. I choose to acknowledge my despair and loneliness. I deeply and completely love myself, accept myself, and I forgive myself, I forgive him, and I forgive anyone else, who contributed to my hurt. Even though I keep looking to others to make me feel better, I feel needy and seek others to lean on, I choose to accept myself.

Even though I feel like a victim, powerless and helpless, feel like I will never get out of this pit of loneliness and despair, nor see any light of peace or happiness. I embrace all my emotions, I honour my emotions, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and my emotions and forgive myself,  I choose to learn to be friends with my emotions, to listen to them, to learn from them and to calm them. Even though I feel very desperate now and I am at a loss for what to do next,  I choose to know that I am the master of my own life, even when it doesn’t feel like it, I am the author of my own destiny, just as I have allowed bad things to happen, I now choose to manifest good things in my life. I choose for love and light to enter and light up my life. I choose to find a reason feel grateful every day, even when it all seems dark and hopeless. … I choose freedom… I choose peace, courage, joy, love, calm, ease, centeredness, stillness, strength.”