Tapping for Grief (Loss, Fear, Helplessness…)

More on dealing with the loss of a loved one. If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique.

I feel so lost and alone, and I am beating myself up for my lack of control. I don’t know how to do “helpless”, I hate when I melt down in front of people at the drop of a hat, I hate that I don’t have any control over my tears, my emotions, it’s not ok for me to be not ok, I have things that need to be done, and people I need to take care of, but I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.

I am at a loss, so many things frazzle me, I feel scared, I can’t cope, I feel overwhelmed, I hate being like this, I don’t know how to do helpless. I feel bad about being sad around my friends. But I forgive myself, and anyone else for contributing to this situation. Even though I was forced to confront my mortality, and the fragility of human life, and I am really shaken, I now choose to find my center again.

Even though I am beating myself up, because it’s not ok to be not ok, that’s ok. I acknowledge that I suffered the biggest loss in my life. My whole world just turned upside down. It’s ok to be not ok. Even though I really want to get over this, and move on, a part of me doesn’t. A part of me thinks that holding on to my grief and suffering, I am holding on to him. A part of me is beating the other part up for wanting to be able to cope. I acknowledge that I may have some conflicted feelings about this. And I deeply and completely love and accept myself, my complex acknowledged and unacknowledged feelings, I forgive myself, and anyone else who may or may not have contributed to this situation.

Even though I still feel anxious, frightened, brokenhearted, bereaved, dread, off-balanced…. I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself, and anyone else who contributed to this situation. I now choose to be calm and confident. I now choose to be still and peaceful. I now choose stability, strength,. I now choose to be grounded, centered. I now choose to nurture myself and honour my emotions, and allow myself this time to grief, to reminisce, and then to heal.

Spiritual Tapping: Enneagram Type One

Sacredness Within

This sequence is for Enneagram Type Ones who want to do deeper work on overcoming their personality issues. Please tap daily for about 7 days, either morning or evening, making sure that in each day, you find some quiet time for yourself to do this. Leave it alone for 7 days, then look at these statements again. You may have some new insights or memories relevant to the development of your Enneagram Type. You can tap on these or ask me if you need help.

If you are new to the Enneagram, EFT and tapping, please first refer to these sections:

EFT Basics

Tapping for Enneagram Types

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1. Please start the tapping with the point under your left shoulder (Reset Button), do 3 rounds of the following statements.:
“I have a basic fear of of being condemned, corrupt, bad, imbalanced, unredeemable, chaotic, defective, I hate mistakes.
I have a basic desire to align with the “Good”, “Sacred”, to be virtuous, balanced, to have integrity.
I am so afraid that my subjective feelings and impulses will  lead me astray, impair my reason, tarnish my integrity.
I need to be right, to strive higher, to improve others, to be consistent with my ideals, to be beyond reproach, to be perfect, to be beyond the criticism and condemnation of others.
But in my heart of hearts, I know that my essential nature is Goodness, Sacredness.
This is just my ego experiencing itself in my personality. BUT I am more than my ego, I am more than my personality, I am more than my emotions, I am more than my thoughts. I am life beyond boundaries. I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself, and anyone else who contributed to this situation.”

2. Now just do normal tapping, also 3 rounds:

These are the statements that reflect the emotions, and you can change or add as you feel. Just don’t do too many at one time or you might feel overwhelmed:

“I feel guilty all the time. I feel like nurturing myself is wrong. I feel guilty about taking time out for myself. Cooking healthy food for myself is a waste of time. Enjoying myself in anyway is wrong. And I resent those who can do it.
Not having a job, and living off someone else’s money is wrong, I feel guilty, I am a bad person
I feel ashamed, not good enough, I need to be perfect – I’m my own worst critic
I feel the fear of death, I have a death wish, I am ashamed of myself.
I feel bitter, grim, parched, resentful
I am tired of feeling this way. I am struggling with a cocktail of emotions that is not really helping me. I am reacting all the time with attachment and aversion, I’m tired of all this. I have no control. The problem is NOT what is happening to me, it’s what I’m THINKING about what’s happening to me, and what I am FEELING about what is happening to me.”

“I now choose to focus on the solution rather than the problem, and to change from being JUDGEMENTAL and OBSESSIVE, to experience my essential quality: the quiet SERENITY within. What would I be without that thought that I was bad, wrong, condemnable? What if I was free to feel good about who I am and where I am now?

I now choose to know that working on myself, and ensuring that I am the best that I can be means that I can be FULLY here. I’ve been running on an empty tank for a long time. Now it’s time to put petrol in the car, so that I can be FULLY PRESENT to my life, available for my family. I appreciate myself for getting the help I need, and doing the work so that I can be at the highest expression of who I am.”

3. Now do 3 rounds of this affirmations to get in touch with your true nature:

“I now choose to release the conviction that I am in a position to judge anything or anyone objectively, including myself.
I choose to be in touch with
my discerning mind, my inner wisdom
my generosity of spirit
my mindfulness, groundedness
I choose to be in touch with GOODNESS, SACREDNESS (outside and inside of myself),
I choose to appreciate myself for being in touch with the goodness of life. I respect myself for the journey that I am going through, and know that I am never separate from the PERFECTION of life
I choose to know that I am noble and pure, wise and kind, life-affirming and all-embracing
I choose to experience the STILLNESS, CALM and SERENITY within.”

Adapted from the work of Don Riso and Russ Hudson of the Enneagram Institute

Feeling like a bad mom, Enneagram Type Six

These are statements I crafted based on a client who was feeling like a bad mom, for taking the time out to work on her own emotional well-being, and in the framework of the Enneagram Type 6. And you can adjust, add or subtract anything you like for your personal use.

Please tap daily, either morning or evening, making sure that in each day, you find some quiet time for yourself to do this.

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1. Please start the tapping with the point under your left shoulder (Reset Button), do 3 rounds of the following statements.:
“I have a basic fear of of being lost, without orientation, without support and guidance.
I have a basic desire to find a trustworthy orientation so that I can be secure and supported
But in my heart of hearts, I know that my essential nature is Awakeness, Inner-Wisdom, Inner-Guidance
This is just my ego experiencing itself in my personality. BUT I am more than my ego, I am more than my personality, I am more than my emotions, I am more than my thoughts. I am life beyond boundaries. I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself, and anyone else who contributed to this situation.”

2. Now just do normal tapping, also 3 rounds:

These are the statements that reflect the emotions, and you can change or add as you feel. Just don’t do too many at one time or you might feel overwhelmed:

“I feel guilty all the time. I feel like a bad mother, I’m not really here for the kids.I feel guilty about taking time out for myself.
I feel ashamed, not good enough, I need to be perfect – I’m my own worst critic
I feel abandoned, unsupported, unprotected, overwhelmed
I feel trapped and I want to run away but I can’t
I am tired of feeling this way. I am struggling with a cocktail of emotions that is not really helping me. I am reacting all the time with attachment and aversion, I’m tired of all this. I have no control. The problem is NOT what is happening to me, it’s what I’m THINKING about what’s happening to me, and what I am FEELING about what is happening to me.”

“I now choose to focus on the solution rather than the problem, and to change from the forced wakefulness of my ANXIETY to the relaxed INNER-GUIDANCE within. I now choose to know that working on myself, and ensuring that I am the best that I can be means that I can be there for my kids. I’ve been running on an empty tank for a long time. Now it’s time to put petrol in the car, so that I can be FULLY PRESENT to my life, available for my family, they are my guidance and support, just as I am their guidance and support. I appreciate myself for getting the help I need, and doing the work so that I can be better.”

3. Now do 3 rounds of this affirmations to get in touch with your true nature:

“I choose to trust in my steadfastness, my foresight
I choose to be in touch with
my quiet mind
my inner guidance
my mindfulness, groundedness
I choose to appreciate myself for being courageous and daring to face my issue. I respect myself for the journey that I am going through
I choose to express my inner sovereignty, my strength and fortitude
I choose to experience the STILLNESS, CALM and COURAGE within.”