Wanna feel wonderful?

Choose the way you want to feel.

If you were to ask ten people what they want in life you are likely to get answers like happiness and peace. These are higher goals that most people aspire to have. Obviously, there are spiritual goals too. Let’s bring our attention to happiness and peace. These are examples of feeling good. If you were to think of a situation in which you feel happy you will likely cast your thoughts to sometime in the past that you felt happy. You will remember where and when and perhaps with whom you were with. As you begin to immerse yourself into this memory you will regain the happy feeling you had then, now. In essence you are able to feel this happy feeling anytime you want.

To illustrate this point further, imagine you are attending a wedding dinner. With a camera in your hand you decided to take some pictures. You scanned around. You proceeded to snap away. A few days later you fished out your camera from your bag and thumbed through those shots. Each shots reminded you a specific moment in time during the party. Some shots brings back moment of joy and laughter. Some shots bring back memories that go way back and connect to some nostalgia and etc. The effects of thumbing through those photos evoke a range of emotions.  Think for a moment. If you have not thumbed through those photos you will unlikely have experienced those emotions during and after seeing it. With this awareness, you have some control on what you choose to feel anytime you want. It underscores the point that the mind and body are connected. What you think can produce feelings. What you choose to think will produce the feeling that you want.

Would you like to feel wonderful, now? You can. Here is how.

How to Feel Wonderful

You do not need to have a reason to feel wonderful. You can feel wonderful any time you want. This is how you do it:

Steps:

  1. Think of a situation in which you felt wonderful in the past.
  2. Notice the surrounding, the people (if any), the sound and the feeling.
  3. If you see yourself in the picture, float into it and be in the picture. See what you see, hear what you hear and feel what you feel.
  4. Notice the location of this wonderful feeling in your body.
  5. Touch the sensation with your hand and notice which direction it is moving.
  6. Whichever direction it is moving, spin it faster.

By spinning it faster you get a more intense feeling of wonderful. Think about feeling gorgeous. You can have this feeling anytime you want. You don’t have to wait until you are dressed up for it.

Enjoy!

Simon Wong

True Forgiveness is Freedom

Healing Tears

This was written for a client who needed help in achieving a true and lasting forgiveness  (as oppose to temporary suppression with the distinct certainty of lashing out on reflex). This can be used generally for when you find it hard to forgive and let go, and you care enough to want to.

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique. Please also include the karate chop point or the psychological reversal point as part of your routine. You may also want to repeat each paragraph once or twice  until you feel the intensity subside before moving on to the next one. Take it slow and let it work. Some of this is meant to be provocative, some of it is meant to inject humour in a tense situation. It may not work for everyone, please amend according to your own needs and nature. Good luck.

“I have so many conflicted thoughts about this issue. I don’t understand how  he/she could do this to me…… Parts of me want to forgive and move on, other parts of me want to bash his brains in and gorge his eyes out, may be swipe him with a tiger’s claw (well, you get the picture, use your own words)….. I acknowledge the hurt, anger, betrayal, hate, helplessness, bereavement, insecurity, alienation (add emotions that you feel) inside, there isn’t anyone I could tell this to, I am all alone. I embrace all the parts of me who are hurting, fearful and angry. I acknowledge that you all have a right to be here, and that the emotions you feel are valid. I embrace you, and thank you for carrying all my pain.

Parts of me feel justified in holding on to my anger, because my anger protects me, because I am entitled to my anger, because he deserves my anger. My anger gives me a high, letting go of my anger may mean that I only feel grief and fear, I don’t want to let my anger go. I am may be even enjoying my anger. I enjoy holding this over his/her head. I like the idea that I can swipe at him/her and take revenge whenever he/she least expects me. I have a right to swipe, and I like that. I thank my anger for wanting to protect me.

I acknowledge that there are all these conflicted emotions and thoughts within me, and it’s ok to be not ok. But there are other parts of me who want to be ready to move on, and leave the past in the past, parts of me who want to experience real forgiveness, so that the past does not taint my future, so that I can live anger-free / fear-free / grief-free / pain-free from this event, may be sometime today, may be sometime tomorrow. I ask my subconscious mind to find a few other ways for me to express my positive intention behind my anger/fear/grief/pain, so that I can be free of my anger/fear/grief/pain, and so that I can forgive and have true freedom to live my life without reference to this event/person.

I was hurt, but i now choose to heal my wounded children within, I now choose to be at the highest expression of who I am. I choose to be calm, confident, free and strong. I choose to be happy. I choose to be still. I choose peace.

I choose to truely forgive and release, because I choose freedom from this. True forgiveness is freedom.”

Healing the Wounded Children – Integration

When we suffer as children, sometimes we don’t know how to handle the situation. As a result, the child pushes away the emotion and sometimes even the memory of the event. We disown parts of ourselves that we don’t know what to do with. These unconscious parts of our influence us in ways that we are not aware of. We end up behaving in ways which are not congruent with our conscious mind. Many times it exhibits as self sabotage behavior or repeated patterns.

We normally do not know that there is this particular wounded child to be integrated. One way to tell is to examine the negative events in childhood that appear in your mind most. Sometimes it is completely under your radar, and it takes a skilled practitioner to uncover these issues. Integration may also be used for archetype and shadow work.

To resolve these issues, first we address the triggering event in the normal way. Then we do a parts integration as follows.

Visualize your little child-self, the wounded child who suffered (in your event) in your left hand, the adult self in your right hand.

The adult says to the child:
“I see you. I’m sorry you were all alone holding all my pain (or anxiety, loneliness etc.) all these years.
Because you were holding my pain, I could be sane and whole, I could function in the world.
So I thank you and honour you. Now there’s no need to be all alone, Please come back into the family of selves.
From now on, I will take care of you, love, cherish and protect you. I will keep you safe and help you thrive in the world.
I welcome you back into my family of selves.”

If the child seems receptive, put your left hand into your right hand. Keep your hands together for 5 to 10 seconds. Then hug your upper arms, as if you are hugging your child. Listen to the child and hold her until she feels ‘done’.

Resistance
If the child isn’t receptive, give her a little time, sometimes that’s all she needs. If she’s angry with you, or doesn’t trust you, “why should I believe you now, where were you all these years?”, then as the adult you say:
“I understand how you feel. I would feel like that too if I were you. I’m really sorry. I didn’t even know you were there. But now that I do, I want to make it up to you, please come home, you are an important part of me. Let me take care of you. You don’t have to be all alone anymore, please come home”
Continue in this trend and keep giving her adequate time to decide on her own to come back.

When she feels ready. Put your left hand into your right hand, say:
“I welcome you back to my family of selves. Thank you for coming back.”
Keep your hands together for 5 to 10 seconds. Then hug your upper arms, as if you are hugging your child. Listen to the child and hold her until she feels ‘done’.

EFT: Eliminating Pain and Anxiety about Pain and Anxiety

“Even though i have this pain, i deeply and completely love & accept myself. I profoundly and unconditionally love and accept my body, and i thank my body for holding my pain. I thank my pain for keeping me sane and whole. But I now choose to acknowledge my pain & my emotions, I embrace my pain & my emotions even though they are hard for me.

I may have made some poor choices in the past about how to handle my  pain and define who I am but those were the best choices i could have made at that time and I choose to honour that. I now choose to make some different choices so that my outcomes can be different.

I now choose to know that I have the sole responsibility and accountability for my life. I now choose to take sovereignty over my life and my body.

I choose freedom, confidence, wisdom, humility, compassion. I choose to be strong, I choose to be powerful, I choose to be loved and love.

Even though I have some pain, but I have the fear that this pain is going to increase……

Now there is no pain, now I have the anxiety, the fear that the pain might return, that the pain will come back with a vengeance i deeply & completely……..

Now there is no pain, and no anxiety, now I’m anxious about not having pain and anxiety, it’s not safe, I’m scared they will come back with a vengeance. I deeply ….. .

I now choose to be calm and confident. I now choose to be happy and pain free….”

Reframing Anger and Hate

Hate, anger, ill-will, vindictiveness in all their guises are energies that eat us up and lower our vibrations. For the most part, these emotions do not serve us. But it’s pointless to tell some one, “don’t be angry, let it go”. The question is how. This is where tapping comes in. As usual score first for the intensity of your emotions, tap and reassess. Tap until emotions are 0 or near 0. Hate is hard to let go of, so expect that you’ll have lots of resistance. You’ll have to use the reframing technique. If you simply can’t get emotions down to 0, say it stops at 0.5, do the 9 gamut technique.

“I hate him. I wish him ill. I want to see him suffer, I want to see him dead… (state what you feel)…. I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway, and I forgive myself.

Even though a part of me wants him out of my system, the rest of me does not want to let go. He deserves my hate, my anger, my ill-will. He deserves many things, but he sure as hell does not deserve forgiveness. (acknowledge your resistance)

But holding on to this energy is hurting only me. The negativity is being stored in my body-mind. It’s not hurting him or affecting him negatively in any way. In a way may be my negativity is helping him reach his goals of tormenting me. May be it’s time to consider a different strategy (suggest an alternative).

May be it is not about what he deserves or doesn’t deserve. May be it’s about me having freedom and release from this. While I am not ready to forgive him, I’m ready to have my freedom, sovereignty and power back. I want to be released from this situation (hell). I want and I deserve freedom from this.

Forgiveness here is not about condoning the past. It’s about choosing not to allow the past to dictate my future. It’s about my own future, and the future of my loved ones (reframing). I now choose to release all negative energies, all negative emotions I have around this situation, so that we can have the life we deserve and that we desire. To live happily and healthily in the world, without recourse to him is our best revenge. I choose to release him from my energy system. I choose freedom from this situation. I choose peace. I choose to be at ease and comfortable in my own skin.”