Spiritual Tapping Enneagram Type Two

Hearts Ablaze by Stacy Lynn Baum

This sequence is for Enneagram Type Twos who want to do deeper work on their personality issues. It’s been an especially tough one for me to write, maybe because as a Four, Two is my shadow & “missing piece”. I’m still not happy with it, but I reckon that those who are Twos can edit at will, and in fact I would be happy to hear from you, and add your statements to this so that others can benefit. Please tap daily for about 7 days, either morning or evening, making sure that in each day, you find some quiet time for yourself to do this. Leave it alone for 7 days, then look at these statements again. You may have some new insights or memories relevant to the development of your Enneagram Type. You can tap on these or ask me if you need help. If you are new to the Enneagram, EFT and tapping, please first refer to these sections: EFT Basics Tapping for Enneagram Types——————————————

1. Please start the tapping with the point under your left shoulder (Reset Button), do 3 rounds of the following statements.: “I am a caring soul, a loving person; it’s hard for me to recognise that I  have a basic fear of having no love in my life, of being unloved and unlovable, of finding no love in the world. I have a basic desire to FEEL love, to be at one with love, to be a source of love in the world, to make sure that there is love in the world. I live life in search of closeness, and maybe approval. Sometimes I feel the need to be loved, to express my feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to me, to vindicate my claims about myself. Sometimes I’d rather not admit, even to myself that I have needs. I’d be ashamed to have needs, other people can have needs, but not me. I am the one who’s suppose to give love, not receive it. I am afraid that my own needs and negative feelings will harm my relationships. I’d rather just stuff it, and feel resentful that my needs are not important. All my emotional upheaval, my longing, and upwelling is just my ego experiencing itself in my personality. BUT I am more than my ego, I am more than my personality, I am more than my emotions, I am more than my thoughts. I am life beyond boundaries. I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself, and anyone else who contributed to this situation. In my heart of hearts, I know my essential nature, when I have intimacy with the truth of who I am. When I’m in touch with the depth of my being I experience only sweetness, innocence and love. Where there is sweetness, there is innocence, and I am bathing in the love of reality’s sweet embrace.”

2. Now just do normal tapping, also 3 rounds: These are the statements that reflect the emotions, and you can change or add as you feel. Just don’t do too many at one time or you might feel overwhelmed:

Sometimes I give love to get love and approval, or I pretend to give love to get love and approval Sometimes I feel like I have no needs, others have needs, but not me, I only give. Sometimes I struggle to get close to others but still feel unloved. Sometimes I need to be loved unconditionally by others and feel their love. Sometimes I need others to toally appreciate my affection and sacrifices. Sometimes I try to ‘well-meaning’ and make myself indispensable. Sometimes I wreck my own health by sacrificing myself for others. Sometimes I fear that the people I love will love someone else more than me. Sometimes I fear that I am taken for granted and not appreciated enough. Sometimes my value depends on someone loving me. sometimes I manipulate others with my love and deceive myself about my motivations. I have alienated the ones I love by being sanctimonious and high-handed. I have reacted in rage and belligerence, and hurt the very people I claim to love. I feel like I am driving people away. “I’ve been reaching outwards all the time, not in touch with the turmoil within. I’m looking for love and approval outside of myself. I’m ruining the relationships I have by not seeing that I have issues. I’ve disregarded the love that I have for the love that I thought I OUGHT to FEEL. I’ve thought “you’ve changed, you don’t love me the way you used to. You don’t appreciate the sacrifices I’ve made for you.” I’ve sulked and pouted and acted up like a petulant child, still identify myself as one who’s loving, empathetic and sincere. I now choose to acknowledge that I sometimes do not admit that I have needs and problems like other people. I am ashamed to admit I have needs. May be if I had needs, I would be unlovable. I choose to be in touch with my PRIDE and SHAME, and to experience that at the root of that are wounded children who need to be embraced. I now choose to recognise my true feelings about myself and about others, and to notice when I am projecting on others. My essential nature is LOVE and SWEETNESS. My true virtue is HUMILITY, because I am open to putting myself out there and saying that I have needs, I accept that I have needs. I now choose to allow my inner children to express themselves, the ones that I have pushed into the back because I didn’t want to feel hurt and unloved. I choose to embrace them so they can heal. And maybe I could let some one else help me to. May be this person is already showing me their love in their own way. I now choose to get in touch with my negative feelings, my shadow side, especially my aggression, anger, hatred, hurt, and SHAME. I become aware of myself as I really am – LIGHT and SHADOW. I deeply and completely, unconditionally and profoundly accept myself, ALL OF MYSELF. I choose to nurture myself and others, to be good to myself, and have goodwill for others. I now choose to know that working on myself, and ensuring that I am the best that I can be means that I can be FULLY here. I’ve been running on an empty tank for a long time. Now it’s time to put petrol in the car, so that I can be FULLY PRESENT to my life, available for my family. I appreciate myself for getting the help I need, and doing the work so that I can be at the highest expression of who I am.”

3. Now do 3 rounds of this affirmations to get in touch with your true nature:

“I now choose to release the conviction that there is anything I can do to earn, create or get love, I can only to open to love… Love Is. Unconditional Love. I choose to be in touch with sweetness, love…. compassion… sincerity…. intuition…. lightness…. humility…. blissful solitude…. stillness…. joy…. I choose to experience the STILLNESS, SWEETNESS and HUMILITY within.”

Adapted from the work of Don Riso and Russ Hudson of the Enneagram Institute

Journey to the Dark Side

Dark Side of the Moon

We all have an identities we like to project. We become what we identify with – the “I am” – “I am responsible”, “I am kind”, I am ethical”, I am smart”, “I am successful”……. Then we have all that we reject – the “I-am-nots”. And the “I-am-nots” get pushed into the shadow. There they furtively exist, rejected, unacknowledged, denied, unlived.

Sometimes they slip out and add mystery to our ordered lives. The wise, from time to time, allow their dark side to show: the straight-lace accountant who has a weekend gig in a heavy metal band, the suburban housewife riding with a motor-cycle gang. For the most part the really bad stuff get pushed into the dark: festering, rejected, ashamed, furtive, craving, indecent – all that unconscious jealousy, greed, guilt, shame, anger, fear, defeat, hopeless despair……. There they influence our lives in unfathomable ways. Do you have impulses which are “not you”? Are there days where an uncontrollable anger takes you? Do you react in unsavory ways when under pressure? Do you have a secret life that you are hiding? Compulsive behavior and addiction? Mid-life transition, or mid-life crisis? You may have to journey to the dark side and do a little integration work.

Either we are in touch or we aren’t, but we all have dark sides. The dark side is a scary place when we are standing in the light. Our eyes play tricks on us and we fill up with fear. When we journey to our dark sides, they become illuminated. If we go arrive there without judgement, without fear and without presumptions, instead of an inner-demon, we notice a wounded child. When we heal our wounded children, we are suddenly less fettered to our identity, our personality, our ego.

Suddenly we become less bound by our habitual “I-am”, because we discover that I am many things in different contexts at the same time. “I-am-not” is part of “I-am”. In the end, perhaps, “I-just-am”. But if we don’t also know the dark, we will never really relax to the light.

P.S. Also see The Hero’s Journey: Descending into the Underworld.

Surviving Mid Life Transition

The problem with cliches, is that they are horribly trite but generally true. Such is the dreaded mid life transition, usually labelled mid life crisis. I remember thinking, when I was 17, that life was generally over when one gets past 30. Then my 30s rolled around, and I liked that decade better than my 20s. Then came my 40s, and I liked that better than my 30s.

But then something morphed. A deep unseating, dislodging, unhinging. We journey into that long dark night of the soul. The ego is built up in the first parts of our lives. Then mid-life rolls around, and we begin that process of painful dismantling, uncomfortable realisations. We ditch things that no longer work for us: jobs, relationships, self-image.

Misery, confusion, frustration, struggle…. these are all going to be there. Like it or not, it will be more painful, or less painful, but pain is going to be there. On a scale of one to ten, it is generally at least a level six in terms of intensity.

The thing is to allow and embrace the changes (eventually) and be in touch with the unfolding of our own inner wisdom. Easier said than done. One needs direction. One needs context. One needs techniques.

Would anyone be interested to explore this issue? Drop me some comments please.

Oh, and here are some snippets from my journey.

There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after. – J.R.R Tolkien