EFT for the Care Giver

If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique.

When a loved one is ill, and you fear for their life, tap for calm so that you can transcend your fear. This is phrased to be slightly “provocative” and may not be for everyone. It acknowledges that sometimes we fear more for our loss, than the pain that our loved one is going through. Please feel free to amend according to your emotional needs.

“Even though it’s much easier to succumb to my habitual vortex of fear and dread, and I’m in a frenzy about loosing my mother, and beating myself up over being a bad daughter, I now choose to see that this is really a waste of energy. Even though I’d much rather indulge in my fear and drama, about the pain of seeing my mother suffer, than being of some use in this situation, I now choose to embrace my emotions, I deeply and completely love and accept where I am, I forgive myself, and anyone for contributing to this situation.

I now choose to embrace all that I feel and fear, and transmute them into loving kindness, into courage, into strength, into intelligence, so that I can be fully present to support my mom through her life’s journey. I now choose to gather all my wisdom and my life force, to generate in my heart positive intentions to support my mom through her hard times.

Even though I am still worried, because I am still human and I am a daughter who loves and needs her mother, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself. I choose to do the best I can, with the tools that I have at this time. I now choose to invoke a state of trust, of space, of solidity, stability, firmness, of ease to support myself and my mom.

Breathing in: Calm
Breathing out: Peace

Breathing in: Space
Breathing out: Ease
Breathing in: Smile ( I mean you smile)
Breathing out: Release”

Spiritual Tapping: Enneagram Type One

Sacredness Within

This sequence is for Enneagram Type Ones who want to do deeper work on overcoming their personality issues. Please tap daily for about 7 days, either morning or evening, making sure that in each day, you find some quiet time for yourself to do this. Leave it alone for 7 days, then look at these statements again. You may have some new insights or memories relevant to the development of your Enneagram Type. You can tap on these or ask me if you need help.

If you are new to the Enneagram, EFT and tapping, please first refer to these sections:

EFT Basics

Tapping for Enneagram Types


1. Please start the tapping with the point under your left shoulder (Reset Button), do 3 rounds of the following statements.:
“I have a basic fear of of being condemned, corrupt, bad, imbalanced, unredeemable, chaotic, defective, I hate mistakes.
I have a basic desire to align with the “Good”, “Sacred”, to be virtuous, balanced, to have integrity.
I am so afraid that my subjective feelings and impulses will  lead me astray, impair my reason, tarnish my integrity.
I need to be right, to strive higher, to improve others, to be consistent with my ideals, to be beyond reproach, to be perfect, to be beyond the criticism and condemnation of others.
But in my heart of hearts, I know that my essential nature is Goodness, Sacredness.
This is just my ego experiencing itself in my personality. BUT I am more than my ego, I am more than my personality, I am more than my emotions, I am more than my thoughts. I am life beyond boundaries. I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself, and anyone else who contributed to this situation.”

2. Now just do normal tapping, also 3 rounds:

These are the statements that reflect the emotions, and you can change or add as you feel. Just don’t do too many at one time or you might feel overwhelmed:

“I feel guilty all the time. I feel like nurturing myself is wrong. I feel guilty about taking time out for myself. Cooking healthy food for myself is a waste of time. Enjoying myself in anyway is wrong. And I resent those who can do it.
Not having a job, and living off someone else’s money is wrong, I feel guilty, I am a bad person
I feel ashamed, not good enough, I need to be perfect – I’m my own worst critic
I feel the fear of death, I have a death wish, I am ashamed of myself.
I feel bitter, grim, parched, resentful
I am tired of feeling this way. I am struggling with a cocktail of emotions that is not really helping me. I am reacting all the time with attachment and aversion, I’m tired of all this. I have no control. The problem is NOT what is happening to me, it’s what I’m THINKING about what’s happening to me, and what I am FEELING about what is happening to me.”

“I now choose to focus on the solution rather than the problem, and to change from being JUDGEMENTAL and OBSESSIVE, to experience my essential quality: the quiet SERENITY within. What would I be without that thought that I was bad, wrong, condemnable? What if I was free to feel good about who I am and where I am now?

I now choose to know that working on myself, and ensuring that I am the best that I can be means that I can be FULLY here. I’ve been running on an empty tank for a long time. Now it’s time to put petrol in the car, so that I can be FULLY PRESENT to my life, available for my family. I appreciate myself for getting the help I need, and doing the work so that I can be at the highest expression of who I am.”

3. Now do 3 rounds of this affirmations to get in touch with your true nature:

“I now choose to release the conviction that I am in a position to judge anything or anyone objectively, including myself.
I choose to be in touch with
my discerning mind, my inner wisdom
my generosity of spirit
my mindfulness, groundedness
I choose to be in touch with GOODNESS, SACREDNESS (outside and inside of myself),
I choose to appreciate myself for being in touch with the goodness of life. I respect myself for the journey that I am going through, and know that I am never separate from the PERFECTION of life
I choose to know that I am noble and pure, wise and kind, life-affirming and all-embracing
I choose to experience the STILLNESS, CALM and SERENITY within.”

Adapted from the work of Don Riso and Russ Hudson of the Enneagram Institute

Tapping for Enneagram Type Nine

Enneagram Type Nine

Even though I have all these issues below, I now understand that it is part of who I am, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself and I forgive anyone else who contributed to these issues. Sometimes it’s hard to be me, I acknowledge that I have some issues like:

  • being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive, but that’s ok
  • being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline, but that’s ok
  • being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally, but that’s ok
  • being confused about what I really want, but that’s ok
  • caring too much about what others will think of me, but that’s ok
  • not being listened to or taken seriously, but that’s ok

But I now CHOOSE to acknowledge and appreciate myself for my strong points, like:

  • being nonjudgmental and accepting
  • caring for and being concerned about others
  • being able to relax and have a good time
  • knowing that most people enjoy my company; I’m easy to be around
  • my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
  • my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
  • being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

Now that I understand more, I can also choose to transcend and release those energies which are not in my best interest to retain. I now choose to release……

  • not taking an active interest in my own life.
  • turning away from whatever is umpleasant or difficult.
  • feeling that there is nothing I can do to improve my life.
  • being numb and emotionally unavailable.
  • refusing to see my own aggressions.
  • ignoring problems until they become overwhelming.
  • all dependency and fear of being on my own.
  • all wishful thinking and giving up too soon.
  • neglecting myself and my own legitimate needs.
  • seeking quick, easy “solutions” to my problems.
  • feeling threatened by significant changes in my life.
  • losing myself in comforting habits and routines.
  • feeling that most things are just too much trouble.
  • all inattentiveness and forgetfulness.
  • going along with others to keep the peace.
  • living through others and not developing myself.

I now choose to affirm…

  • that I am confident, strong, and independent.
  • that I develop my mind and think things through.
  • that I am awake and alert to the world around me.
  • that I am proud of myself and my abilities.
  • that I am steadfast and dependable in difficult times.
  • that I look deeply into myself without fear.
  • that I am excited about my future.
  • that I am a powerful, healing force in my world.
  • that I actively embrace all that life brings.

Adapted from:
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy
Don Richard Riso, Enneagram Transformations

Tapping for Enneagram Type Eight

Enneagram Type Eight

Even though sometimes it’s hard to be an Eight, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway, I forgive myself, and any body else for contributing to this situation. Being an eight is hard becasue, sometimes I am

  • overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don’t intend to, but that’s ok
  • restless and impatient with others’ incompetence, but that’s ok
  • sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it, but that’s ok
  • never forgetting injuries or injustices, but that’s ok
  • putting too much pressure on myself, but that’s ok
  • getting high blood pressure when people don’t obey the rules or when things don’t go right, but that’s ok

I choose to appreciate myself for being an eight, I appreciate myself for:

  • being independent and self-reliant
  • being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
  • being courageous, straightforward, and honest
  • getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
  • supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
  • upholding just causes

I now choose to release…

  • all anger, rage, and violence from my life.
  • dehumanizing myself by violating others in any way.
  • being verbally or physically abusive.
  • believing that taking vengeance will free me from my own pain.
  • hardening my heart against suffering.
  • my fear of ever being vulnerable or weak.
  • believing that I do not need others.
  • believing that I must bully people to get my way.
  • my fear that others will control me.
  • feeling that I must only look after myself.
  • my fear of losing to anyone.
  • feeling that I must never be afraid.
  • attempting to control everything in my life.
  • allowing my pride and ego to ruin my health and relationships.
  • thinking that anyone who does not agree with me is against me.
  • being hard-boiled and denying my need for affection.

I now choose to affirm…

  • that I believe in people and care about their welfare.
  • that I am big-hearted and let others share the glory.
  • that I am honorable and therefore worthy of respect.
  • that I am most fulfilled by championing others.
  • that I have tender feelings and good impulses.
  • that I can be gentle without being afraid.
  • that I master myself and my own passions.
  • that there is an authority greater than me.
  • that I love others and ask for their love in return.

Adapted from:
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy
Don Richard Riso, Enneagram Transformations

Tapping for Enneagram Type Seven

Enneagram Type Seven

Sometimes it’s hard to be me, but I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself, and anybody else, for contributing to this situation. I have issues like:

  • not having enough time to do all the things I want, but that’s ok
  • not completing things I start, but that’s ok
  • not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career, but that’s ok
  • having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies, but that’s ok
  • feeling confined when I’m in a one-to-one relationship, but that’s ok

But hey! Life is mostly good. I choose to appreciate myself for:

  • being optimistic and not letting life’s troubles get me down
  • being spontaneous and free-spirited
  • being outspoken and outrageous. It’s part of the fun.
  • being generous and trying to make the world a better place
  • having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures
  • having such varied interests and abilities

I now CHOOSE to release…

  • all reckless and destructive impulses.
  • feeling that I will be overwhelmed by anxiety.
  • all compulsions and addictions.
  • burning myself out by trying to satisfy all of my desires.
  • running away from the consequences of my actions.
  • insulting or abusing others to vent my frustrations.
  • allowing my insecurities to drive me into dangerous situations and behavior.
  • sacrificing my health and happiness for instant gratification.
  • being demanding and impatient with others.
  • fearing that there will not be enough for me.
  • always feeling that I need more.
  • wanting every moment to be exciting and dramatic.
  • escaping from myself through distractions and constant activity.
  • letting my lack of self-discipline ruin my opportunities.
  • overextending myself with more than I can do well.
  • believing that external things will make me happy.

I now CHOOSE to affirm…

  • that I am happiest when I am calm and centered.
  • that I can say no to myself without feeling deprived.
  • that there will be enough for me of whatever I need.
  • that I am resilient in the face of setbacks.
  • that I find satisfaction in ordinary things.
  • that I stay with projects until I complete them.
  • that I care deeply about people and am committed to their happiness.
  • that there is a spiritual dimension to my life.
  • that I am profoundly grateful to be alive.

Adapted from:
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy
Don Richard Riso, Enneagram Transformations