This sequence is for Enneagram Type Twos who want to do deeper work on their personality issues. It’s been an especially tough one for me to write, maybe because as a Four, Two is my shadow & “missing piece”. I’m still not happy with it, but I reckon that those who are Twos can edit at will, and in fact I would be happy to hear from you, and add your statements to this so that others can benefit. Please tap daily for about 7 days, either morning or evening, making sure that in each day, you find some quiet time for yourself to do this. Leave it alone for 7 days, then look at these statements again. You may have some new insights or memories relevant to the development of your Enneagram Type. You can tap on these or ask me if you need help. If you are new to the Enneagram, EFT and tapping, please first refer to these sections: EFT Basics Tapping for Enneagram Types——————————————
1. Please start the tapping with the point under your left shoulder (Reset Button), do 3 rounds of the following statements.: “I am a caring soul, a loving person; it’s hard for me to recognise that I have a basic fear of having no love in my life, of being unloved and unlovable, of finding no love in the world. I have a basic desire to FEEL love, to be at one with love, to be a source of love in the world, to make sure that there is love in the world. I live life in search of closeness, and maybe approval. Sometimes I feel the need to be loved, to express my feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to me, to vindicate my claims about myself. Sometimes I’d rather not admit, even to myself that I have needs. I’d be ashamed to have needs, other people can have needs, but not me. I am the one who’s suppose to give love, not receive it. I am afraid that my own needs and negative feelings will harm my relationships. I’d rather just stuff it, and feel resentful that my needs are not important. All my emotional upheaval, my longing, and upwelling is just my ego experiencing itself in my personality. BUT I am more than my ego, I am more than my personality, I am more than my emotions, I am more than my thoughts. I am life beyond boundaries. I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself, and anyone else who contributed to this situation. In my heart of hearts, I know my essential nature, when I have intimacy with the truth of who I am. When I’m in touch with the depth of my being I experience only sweetness, innocence and love. Where there is sweetness, there is innocence, and I am bathing in the love of reality’s sweet embrace.”
2. Now just do normal tapping, also 3 rounds: These are the statements that reflect the emotions, and you can change or add as you feel. Just don’t do too many at one time or you might feel overwhelmed:
Sometimes I give love to get love and approval, or I pretend to give love to get love and approval Sometimes I feel like I have no needs, others have needs, but not me, I only give. Sometimes I struggle to get close to others but still feel unloved. Sometimes I need to be loved unconditionally by others and feel their love. Sometimes I need others to toally appreciate my affection and sacrifices. Sometimes I try to ‘well-meaning’ and make myself indispensable. Sometimes I wreck my own health by sacrificing myself for others. Sometimes I fear that the people I love will love someone else more than me. Sometimes I fear that I am taken for granted and not appreciated enough. Sometimes my value depends on someone loving me. sometimes I manipulate others with my love and deceive myself about my motivations. I have alienated the ones I love by being sanctimonious and high-handed. I have reacted in rage and belligerence, and hurt the very people I claim to love. I feel like I am driving people away. “I’ve been reaching outwards all the time, not in touch with the turmoil within. I’m looking for love and approval outside of myself. I’m ruining the relationships I have by not seeing that I have issues. I’ve disregarded the love that I have for the love that I thought I OUGHT to FEEL. I’ve thought “you’ve changed, you don’t love me the way you used to. You don’t appreciate the sacrifices I’ve made for you.” I’ve sulked and pouted and acted up like a petulant child, still identify myself as one who’s loving, empathetic and sincere. I now choose to acknowledge that I sometimes do not admit that I have needs and problems like other people. I am ashamed to admit I have needs. May be if I had needs, I would be unlovable. I choose to be in touch with my PRIDE and SHAME, and to experience that at the root of that are wounded children who need to be embraced. I now choose to recognise my true feelings about myself and about others, and to notice when I am projecting on others. My essential nature is LOVE and SWEETNESS. My true virtue is HUMILITY, because I am open to putting myself out there and saying that I have needs, I accept that I have needs. I now choose to allow my inner children to express themselves, the ones that I have pushed into the back because I didn’t want to feel hurt and unloved. I choose to embrace them so they can heal. And maybe I could let some one else help me to. May be this person is already showing me their love in their own way. I now choose to get in touch with my negative feelings, my shadow side, especially my aggression, anger, hatred, hurt, and SHAME. I become aware of myself as I really am – LIGHT and SHADOW. I deeply and completely, unconditionally and profoundly accept myself, ALL OF MYSELF. I choose to nurture myself and others, to be good to myself, and have goodwill for others. I now choose to know that working on myself, and ensuring that I am the best that I can be means that I can be FULLY here. I’ve been running on an empty tank for a long time. Now it’s time to put petrol in the car, so that I can be FULLY PRESENT to my life, available for my family. I appreciate myself for getting the help I need, and doing the work so that I can be at the highest expression of who I am.”
3. Now do 3 rounds of this affirmations to get in touch with your true nature:
“I now choose to release the conviction that there is anything I can do to earn, create or get love, I can only to open to love… Love Is. Unconditional Love. I choose to be in touch with sweetness, love…. compassion… sincerity…. intuition…. lightness…. humility…. blissful solitude…. stillness…. joy…. I choose to experience the STILLNESS, SWEETNESS and HUMILITY within.”
Adapted from the work of Don Riso and Russ Hudson of the Enneagram Institute
This was written for a client who needed help in achieving a true and lasting forgiveness (as oppose to temporary suppression with the distinct certainty of lashing out on reflex). This can be used generally for when you find it hard to forgive and let go, and you care enough to want to.
If you are new to EFT and tapping please check the section on EFT Basics for the basic tapping technique. Please also include the karate chop point or the psychological reversal point as part of your routine. You may also want to repeat each paragraph once or twice until you feel the intensity subside before moving on to the next one. Take it slow and let it work. Some of this is meant to be provocative, some of it is meant to inject humour in a tense situation. It may not work for everyone, please amend according to your own needs and nature. Good luck.
“I have so many conflicted thoughts about this issue. I don’t understand how he/she could do this to me…… Parts of me want to forgive and move on, other parts of me want to bash his brains in and gorge his eyes out, may be swipe him with a tiger’s claw (well, you get the picture, use your own words)….. I acknowledge the hurt, anger, betrayal, hate, helplessness, bereavement, insecurity, alienation (add emotions that you feel) inside, there isn’t anyone I could tell this to, I am all alone. I embrace all the parts of me who are hurting, fearful and angry. I acknowledge that you all have a right to be here, and that the emotions you feel are valid. I embrace you, and thank you for carrying all my pain.
Parts of me feel justified in holding on to my anger, because my anger protects me, because I am entitled to my anger, because he deserves my anger. My anger gives me a high, letting go of my anger may mean that I only feel grief and fear, I don’t want to let my anger go. I am may be even enjoying my anger. I enjoy holding this over his/her head. I like the idea that I can swipe at him/her and take revenge whenever he/she least expects me. I have a right to swipe, and I like that. I thank my anger for wanting to protect me.
I acknowledge that there are all these conflicted emotions and thoughts within me, and it’s ok to be not ok. But there are other parts of me who want to be ready to move on, and leave the past in the past, parts of me who want to experience real forgiveness, so that the past does not taint my future, so that I can live anger-free / fear-free / grief-free / pain-free from this event, may be sometime today, may be sometime tomorrow. I ask my subconscious mind to find a few other ways for me to express my positive intention behind my anger/fear/grief/pain, so that I can be free of my anger/fear/grief/pain, and so that I can forgive and have true freedom to live my life without reference to this event/person.
I was hurt, but i now choose to heal my wounded children within, I now choose to be at the highest expression of who I am. I choose to be calm, confident, free and strong. I choose to be happy. I choose to be still. I choose peace.
I choose to truely forgive and release, because I choose freedom from this. True forgiveness is freedom.”
Even though I have these issues, I now understand that it is part of who I am, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, I forgive myself and I forgive anyone else who contributed to these issues. I recognise that sometimes it is hard to be a One, I have some issues like:
I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway, I forgive myself and anyone else who contributed
to this situation.
I now choose to release…
I now choose to appreciate myself for:
I now choose to affirm…
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy
Don Richard Riso, Enneagram Transformations
Hate, anger, ill-will, vindictiveness in all their guises are energies that eat us up and lower our vibrations. For the most part, these emotions do not serve us. But it’s pointless to tell some one, “don’t be angry, let it go”. The question is how. This is where tapping comes in. As usual score first for the intensity of your emotions, tap and reassess. Tap until emotions are 0 or near 0. Hate is hard to let go of, so expect that you’ll have lots of resistance. You’ll have to use the reframing technique. If you simply can’t get emotions down to 0, say it stops at 0.5, do the 9 gamut technique.
“I hate him. I wish him ill. I want to see him suffer, I want to see him dead… (state what you feel)…. I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway, and I forgive myself.
Even though a part of me wants him out of my system, the rest of me does not want to let go. He deserves my hate, my anger, my ill-will. He deserves many things, but he sure as hell does not deserve forgiveness. (acknowledge your resistance)
But holding on to this energy is hurting only me. The negativity is being stored in my body-mind. It’s not hurting him or affecting him negatively in any way. In a way may be my negativity is helping him reach his goals of tormenting me. May be it’s time to consider a different strategy (suggest an alternative).
May be it is not about what he deserves or doesn’t deserve. May be it’s about me having freedom and release from this. While I am not ready to forgive him, I’m ready to have my freedom, sovereignty and power back. I want to be released from this situation (hell). I want and I deserve freedom from this.
Forgiveness here is not about condoning the past. It’s about choosing not to allow the past to dictate my future. It’s about my own future, and the future of my loved ones (reframing). I now choose to release all negative energies, all negative emotions I have around this situation, so that we can have the life we deserve and that we desire. To live happily and healthily in the world, without recourse to him is our best revenge. I choose to release him from my energy system. I choose freedom from this situation. I choose peace. I choose to be at ease and comfortable in my own skin.”